The Perimenopause & Menopause Conversation Women Should Be Having Sooner

There’s a stage in womanhood that doesn’t always announce itself with a clear beginning or an obvious end. Instead, it can arrive quietly, perhaps with a period that suddenly has a mind of its own, a night spent staring at the ceiling, unexpected mood swings, or the strange feeling that your body is changing the rules without sending you a memo. Perimenopause and menopause are completely natural parts of ageing, yet they’re still conversations many women don’t have until they’re already experiencing the changes. And because symptoms can look so different from one woman to another, it’s easy to brush them off as stress, lack of sleep, getting older, or simply having “one of those weeks.”

But understanding what’s happening earlier can make the transition feel a lot less confusing—and a lot more manageable. From hormonal shifts and changing periods to sleep, mood, skin, energy and everything in between, knowing what to expect can help women feel more prepared, informed and comfortable in their own bodies. Because menopause isn’t something we should whisper about or wait until it happens to start learning about. The earlier we start talking, the less mysterious it becomes.

Understanding Perimenopause and Menopause, and the Changes Your Body May Be Going Through

There’s a lot that can feel unfamiliar about midlife, and changes to your periods are often one of the first clues that your body is entering a new chapter. While perimenopause and menopause are closely related, they describe different stages. Perimenopause is the period of transition before menopause, when hormone levels such as oestrogen and progesterone can rise and fall, and your menstrual cycle may start behaving differently. Menopause itself is officially reached after 12 consecutive months without a period, as long as there isn't another medical explanation for the absence of menstruation. From then onwards, you are considered postmenopausal.

When Does Perimenopause Begin?

There isn’t a fixed starting point because every woman’s timeline is different. For many, the transition begins sometime in their 40s, although changes can happen earlier. Perimenopause can continue for several years, and the experience can look completely different from one woman to another. Some women notice only subtle changes, while others find that symptoms begin to interfere with sleep, work, relationships or everyday routines. Knowing what to look out for can make these changes feel a little less confusing.

It Isn’t Always Just About Your Period

Your menstrual cycle may be the first thing you notice changing. Perhaps your periods suddenly arrive earlier or later than expected, become heavier or lighter, or last for a different number of days. You may notice that your periods become:

More frequent or further apart
Heavier or lighter
Longer or shorter
More difficult to predict

But hormonal changes can show up in plenty of other ways too. Some women may experience:

Hot flushes
Night sweats
Trouble sleeping
Changes in mood
Vaginal dryness
Changes in sexual desire
Difficulty focusing or “brain fog”
Headaches
Changes to the skin and hair
Aching joints or muscles

Of course, not every change that happens during your 40s is necessarily down to perimenopause. If something feels unusual, persistent or concerning, it's worth speaking to a healthcare professional rather than automatically blaming your hormones.

Why Does Skin Suddenly Feel Different?

Oestrogen plays a role in maintaining skin structure, hydration and elasticity. As oestrogen levels change around menopause, some women notice that their skin becomes drier, thinner or less supple than before. This can be a good time to simplify your body-care routine and focus on keeping skin moisturised. For dry body skin, virgin coconut oil (VCO) can work as an emollient, helping soften the skin and reduce moisture loss. Try applying a small amount after showering while the skin is still slightly damp. It won't stop hormonal ageing or remove wrinkles, but it can be a simple way to make increasingly dry skin feel more comfortable.

Why Does Your Skin Suddenly Seem Different?

You may find yourself wondering why the skin that once felt perfectly comfortable now seems noticeably drier or less supple. Oestrogen contributes to the structure, hydration and elasticity of the skin. As hormone levels shift during the menopausal transition, some women notice that their skin feels drier, thinner or less elastic than it used to. This can be a good time to rethink your body-care routine and give your skin a little extra moisture. Virgin coconut oil (VCO) can be used as an emollient for dry body skin, helping to soften the skin and reduce moisture loss. Applying a small amount after your shower, while your skin is still slightly damp, can help lock in moisture. It won't stop the natural effects of hormonal ageing or erase wrinkles, but sometimes a simple moisturising step is all you need to make dry, uncomfortable skin feel more nourished.

When Sleep Becomes a Struggle

Another frustrating part of the menopausal transition can be changes to your sleep. Night sweats can obviously make it harder to stay asleep, but disrupted sleep isn't always accompanied by sweating. Some women simply find themselves waking more often or struggling to settle down at night.

Before overcomplicating your bedtime routine, start with the basics:

Keep your bedroom cool and comfortable
Try to go to bed and wake up around the same time each day
Avoid too much caffeine later in the day
Put away your screens before bedtime
Give yourself some quiet time to wind down

You can also create a small ritual that tells your body the busy part of the day is over. If you enjoy aromatherapy, incorporating a calming scent such as lavender into your evening routine may help create a more relaxing atmosphere. Essential oils don't correct hormonal changes or treat menopause, but if you enjoy the experience of aromatherapy, it can be a comforting part of your wind-down routine.

Look After Your Bones and Muscles

Not every important change during menopause is something you’ll immediately notice. Oestrogen has an important role in maintaining bone health, and bone loss can speed up around menopause. This makes taking care of your bones and muscles particularly important as you move through midlife.

Some habits worth building into your routine include:

Weight-bearing activities
Strength and resistance exercises
Eating enough protein
Getting sufficient calcium
Maintaining adequate vitamin D
Avoiding smoking
Keeping alcohol intake within sensible limits

And there's no reason to wait until your 50s or 60s to start thinking about strength. Building muscle and supporting your bones earlier in adulthood can help set you up for better mobility and independence as you get older.

There’s No Magic Menopause Food

With so much wellness advice online, it can be tempting to look for a particular food that promises to ‘balance your hormones’. Unfortunately, there isn't one magical ingredient that can do that. Instead, aim for an eating pattern that gives your body a good mix of nutrients. Think plenty of vegetables and fruits, whole grains, legumes, protein and a sensible variety of dietary fats. Foods such as nuts, seeds, fish, avocado and olive oil provide unsaturated fats that can be part of a balanced diet. If virgin coconut oil is already a familiar ingredient in your household cooking, there's no need to eliminate it—it can be enjoyed in moderation alongside other sources of fat. And be a little sceptical of products promising to “reverse menopause,” completely restore hormonal balance or make every symptom disappear naturally. Natural doesn't automatically mean effective, necessary or suitable for everyone.

When Is It Time to Talk to Your Doctor?

Menopause is a natural stage of life, but that doesn’t mean you have to simply put up with symptoms that are making life difficult. Consider speaking with a healthcare professional if changes are affecting your sleep, work, relationships, emotional wellbeing or ability to get through your usual day. It's also important to seek medical advice if you experience unusual or very heavy bleeding, bleeding between periods, or any bleeding after menopause. There are different ways of managing menopausal symptoms, ranging from lifestyle adjustments to medical treatments. What works best will depend on your symptoms, health history and individual circumstances, so professional advice can help you understand your options.

Let’s Stop Treating Menopause Like a Secret

For a long time, menopause was something women were expected to quietly endure without much explanation or conversation. Many reached this stage of life without really knowing what was happening to their bodies. Thankfully, that conversation is changing. We're becoming more comfortable talking about periods, fertility, PCOS, pregnancy and postpartum health—and perimenopause and menopause deserve that same openness. This World Menopause Day, consider starting the conversation even if menopause still feels like a long way off. Learn what changes may lie ahead. Build habits that support your bones and muscles. Give your skin the care it needs. Protect your sleep. And don't hesitate to seek professional guidance when symptoms start getting in the way of living your life. Because menopause isn't the end of feeling healthy, energetic, attractive or confident. It's simply another chapter—and understanding what your body is going through can make that chapter feel a whole lot less daunting.